In this blog, I wanted to talk about overcoming sadness, loneliness, and even depression during the holidays.
I am inspired to write this blog because I too am about to face my first Christmas where I will be alone. My wife is traveling to Toronto to be with her cousins. I decided to stay back to work on my business, goal setting, and get ready for 2018. As I always believe, it is great to teach what you need to learn.
So here is how to overcome loneliness and sadness over the holidays:
- Being lonely and alone are not the same, do things you love to do.
Many people misconstrue that when someone is single or alone, they are lonely. Actually, some of the most happy, secure, and balanced people are actually single and alone. They also truly enjoy spending time alone. Of course, it is extremely important to spend some time each week being and doing things by yourself. Have you ever been to a party and had a lousy time and even was depressed? We all have. Have you ever felt like you were lonely at a party? Sometimes, people will feel much less lonely doing what they love to do like reading a book. What do you love to do when you are alone? Is it watching your favorite shows? Is it cooking a new recipe? Is it writing in your journal and highlighting special moments in your life? One thing I love to do is watch sports and go out for a walk and listen to music that energizes and inspires me. I know that I will go for a nice walk. Maybe even a couple of walks during the day. I will tune into Tennis Channel and maybe watch a current or classic tennis match. Later I will check out some NBA basketball games that will be on.
Always utilize and take advantage of doing the things you love.
- Put yourself out there.
A dear friend of mine always says, “Get out there”. He is right in that advice. What do I mean by this? Connect with others and there are many avenues to do this in 2017. I will make some short and surprise visits to family that I know that I will be welcomed (let’s hope so, lol). Now, I understand putting yourself out there and reaching out to others is an emotional risk to those that are lonely. Yet, the only way to get out of a rut, funk, and be happy is to get out of your comfort zone. Those that are lonely actually are addicted to feeling that way because it makes them feel safe for the moment with long term consequences. Simply ask friends and relatives (even extended) what they are doing for the holidays. Naturally they will ask you the same question. Most likely, an invitation to come over or get together will occur. We think sometimes that others do not care. Yet, nothing can be further from the truth. It is natural to be loving and caring for others. Last year, my wife knew that a colleague was going to spend Thanksgiving alone because the rest of his family was in China. As a result, we invited him over for Thanksgiving dinner and was able to experience how we celebrated Thanksgiving dinner. If you are more likely to openly invite someone over for the holidays, it is definitely certain others will want to invite you over as well. Other ways to connect is easy. If a dear friend or relative are far, facetime with them. There are many avenues like Skype, Whatsapp, and even just using your cell phone to facetime. Maybe texting and messaging is another way. You can wish all your contacts a Happy Holidays through text and messaging. I know that I am going to place a bit emoji on everyone’s Facebook wall to wish them a Merry Christmas.
- Focus on grace, presence, and gratitude.
It is always important to have a direct mind and heart, especially during the Holidays. Understanding that we are here on this earth, right now and right here at this moment in time is extremely gratifying. Why? We have the greatest opportunities and resources than ever before. Even 10 years ago, the smart phone was just launching and working out the kinks. Today, we have access to anything we want on a small device. We can read, listen to music, shop, watch tv, talk on the phone, write letters, take pictures and videos, as well as perform many other functions.
Always hold yourself in the highest level of regard and grace. Be good to yourself. Enjoy the moments you have and don’t worry about anything like what are you going to do. We are here at this moment and we have many things to be grateful. Remember, there are those who live on less than $3/day. Matter of fact more than ½ the world does. Thus, we have no problems.
- Focus on Giving
As Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving”. When we focus on helping, loving, and caring for others with no expectations, fear, depression, and anger disappears. Visit a rest or nursing home and spend quality time with them. Always give and help others who are in need and don’t have the blessings we have, at least at this moment. Maybe go and by groceries for a family who has been struggling. Dress up as the delivery person and leave a meal at their doorsteps. There are many ways to give back to others.
As always, I would love to hear your feedback and other methods on how we can overcome being alone, lonely, and depressed on the holidays. As remember, that life here and now is truly a blessing and a gift from our creator and what we do with it is our gift in return.
I wish all of you a great, joyful, and happy holiday to you and your loved ones. May God bless you.
Jamie